sisterjudyjudybobudy:

weetbixgod:

hotdadcalendar:

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

Babies have no concept of object permanence

That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read. 

spankmehardbarry:

yesterday i went to the library to read because im a nerdy girl and i love to read, unlike most girls. (: anyway i was reading twilight and tHEN I SAW ANOTHER GUY READING TWILIGHT AND HE CAME OVER AND STARTED FINGERING ME AND THEN HIS MOM SHOWED UP AND LIT HIM ON FIRE OMG THEN I ASKED HER IF SHE HAD TUMBLR AND SHES LIKE “SUPERWHOLOCK” AND GAVE ME HER URL AND IM SCREAMING

misterandry:

blows my mind that women are considered shrill and whiny when all i have to do is insinuate that male feelings are not my #1 priority at all times and every indignant male in a 500 mile radius comes out of the woodwork to let me know how they feel

just-a-mean-teen:

My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point

greatjaggi:

Every Dorito is a triangle but not every triangle is a Dorito

My neighbour had a baby and I bought the cutest clothes and the booties are so tiny I can fit my thumb

iverbz:

eluting:

an ideal date would be eating takeout dinner in our pjs while watching Netflix and you play with my hair

yall literally have the lowest standards in the history of the universe and there are animals that accept urine as a mating gift

katbot:

Professor: Your essay must be 3,000 - 6,000 words

Me: image

Mother & Father - Broods
1,846 plays

badsunset:

I don’t want to wake up lonely

I don’t want to just be fine

I don’t want to keep on hoping

Forget what I have in mind

queefdollaz:

lmfaoo niggas on here be reblogging the simplest basic relationship shit like “i want somebody to eat pizza and watch regular show with” fool u can do that with ya lil cousins if yount get yo ass outta here!!!!

kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

paris666hilton:

THIS IS ART